Well, this was going to be the last post. Then I changed my mind and decided I wanted to keep making posts. A LOT has happened since the last post here, and yes it was in 2005. A lot of bad things and a few good things have happened since then, and there is no way to "catch up" on the past couple of years...
That is because I really don't remember the last 2 years :(
You see, I have Bipolar Disorder, and about 2 years ago I went to see a new Psychiatrist who put me on some new medications. What I didn't realize at the time was that I was taking TOO MUCH medication. To put this in perspective, the dosage of this particular medication they give to the most psychotic inmates in prison is less than HALF what I was taking DAILY. On a recent episode of ER they administered ONE EIGHTH what I was taking to a psychotic patient and he instantly fell asleep! I really laughed out loud at that... All this time he NEVER said anything about lowering the dosage
So basically, for the past 2 years, all I have been doing is sleeping and laying on the couch and watching TV. Oh sure, there were some days where I did manage to get myself cleaned up (after a week or so of no showers...) and go somewhere. And for about 6 months I actually held a job, until I had a relapse of my former health problem, but I honestly can't really recall anything specific I did the past couple of years except a few things that happened when I was working.
I put my family through so much stress. My wife suffers from a disabling medical condition and I was certainly no help for her. In fact, I don't know how she even stuck with me through all this. I know now that it is just testimony of how wonderful of a person she is, and just how much she loves me. It took something very bad to get me evaluated by another doctor who IMMEDIATELY changed the dosage of my medication.
It was a very odd transition, to say the least. I began to actually have feelings and emotions. Sometimes they manifested themselves at odd times or for no apparent reason. This went on for a couple of months, and I was even able to stop taking a couple of medications completely! I started looking for a job in earnest and found a good one, only to have the company go out of business on not even 3 months into it :( Didn't even qualify for unemployment :( I was very depressed, but determined to go on and became almost relentless in my pursuit of a good career where I could provide for my family.
I was strictly focusing on nonprofit agencies or companies that did something that contributed to the greater good of the world. As strange as that may sound, that is what I have always wanted to do. and there are a LOT of those jobs out there, since many people don't want them because they pay about half what you can get in the private sector. That's a shame :( So I met with people, I networked, I went to meetings and seminars, I always had resumes with me, just in case. I faxed, I emailed, I called, I prayed, and I interviewed dozens of times and always followed up with a letter or a call. I enlisted the help of friends, family, ex co-workers; pretty much anybody I ran into. Then I got lucky and landed a great career, with fantastic benefits, and am now happier than I have been in years. We all are! :)
So, all in all there are two morals to this story. The first is to ALWAYS get a second opinion when dealing with a medical issue! Don't think that old saying applies only to things like surgery. The second is to be persistent in whatever you are doing and it will pay off!
And I guess the third lesson learned is that one should never underestimate the love and support friends and family can provide, even when it seems like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. I am truly blessed by God to have a wonderful wife, fantastic family and amazingly supportive friends all over the world. I thought for a while that there was no way I could put my thanks into words, but then I changed my minds and did that very thing. Put it into words. It was the least I could do :)
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